El Consultorio Sexual de Magdalena

Sed bienvenidos a nuestro rincón íntimo donde encontrarás comprensión y apoyo para todos esos problemillas y dudas que nos han surgido a todos en algún momento de nuestras azarosas vidas.

Santasía sexual

Saturday, December 24, 2005

Hola Magdalena, soy Noelia. Tengo 16 años y llevo una vida muy normal, vivo con mi papá, mi mamá, mi hermanita y mis abuelitos, voy al instituto... Pero esta noche he tenido una fantasía sexual húmeda nocturna muy extraña, te cuento: estaba yo dormida en la cama (y no en la calle, como a veces hago), y bajaba por la chimenea de mi casa (aquí comienza lo extraño, porque mi casa no tiene chimenea, de hecho, es un apartamento de mierda) un tío vestido de rojo, con barba blanca y rechoncho, y después de dejar un bastón de caramelo al lado de mi cama, se acercaba y me follaba salvajemente. ¿Es normal soñar que te viola Santa Claus?
Noelia


Querida Noelia, tu fantastía tiene una fácil explicación. Tu abuelito es un jodido pervertido que entra por las noches a practicar el mete-saca contigo y tu hermanita mientras dormís. Esto explica el bastón, la barba blanca, etc. Probablemente tu abuelo usa el típico pijama rojo de abuelito, con pelotillas de esas que se forman en la ropa vieja, infórmate para confirmar mis peores sospechas.
Una buena solución a tu problema, es deslizarle bromuro al abuelo en el desayuno, sin que se entere. Procura sincronizar el plan con la abuela, no sea que ella le ponga viagra para compensar el efecto.
En cualquier caso, Feliz Navidad, y felicidades por tener un abuelo tan activo, a pesar de sus años.

45 Comments:

At Saturday, December 24, 2005 7:56:00 AM, Anonymous Ramón said...

Este post no tiene gracia. Si no tienen gracia no los publiques. ¿A ti te gustaria que tuvieras una hermana de 16 años y la violaran? Pues eso.

 
At Saturday, December 24, 2005 8:36:00 AM, Anonymous curioso impertinente said...

Oye, Ramón, ¿por casualidad, tú no tendrás una hermana de 16 años que todavía no haya sido violada, no?
(Incluye dirección del colegio de tu hermana y hora a la que sale para volver a casa sola y por callejones oscuros)

 
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At Saturday, December 24, 2005 2:43:00 PM, Anonymous graciosero said...

mi madre toca el violín, y mi padre la viola.

 
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Mi prima toca el piano
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Magdalena, la Navidad es una mierda. Estoy solo y sin pareja por culpa de la navidad. Pensaba darle una sorpresa a mi mujer bajando vestido de Papá Noel-sexual (con un gorrito rojo tú ya sabes dónde) por la chimenea, pero resbalé, y me caí boca abajo. Yo me rompí una pierna y mi mujer la polla de la risa. Dice que no quiere estar con alguien tan subnormal como yo y me ha abandonado...

 
At Sunday, December 25, 2005 12:18:00 PM, Anonymous Aber Sicuela said...

Marido detallista. Yo también estoy solo y me siento muy mal. A mí mi mujer también me ha dejado. Creo que el único consuelo que nos queda es comenzar una relación homosexual juntos.

 
At Monday, December 26, 2005 2:31:00 AM, Anonymous Mujer de Sta said...

Estimada hija de puta, mi marido no se dedica a violar. Quizás te estés equivocando con el jodido rey negro.

Si no te gusta mi marido, contesta a la sopla pollas de la niña esa que será ella que va provocando...

No te jodesss

 
At Monday, December 26, 2005 2:32:00 AM, Anonymous Sta Claus said...

ramón... tú qué añitos tienes?

 
At Monday, December 26, 2005 9:08:00 AM, Anonymous ramón said...

Tengo 11, pero casi casi doce

 
At Monday, December 26, 2005 3:08:00 PM, Anonymous Nadie (haciendo uso de su medio dedo de frente) said...

Enhorabuena, Hernán, por el post. Sós genial

 
At Tuesday, December 27, 2005 2:06:00 AM, Anonymous otro nadie said...

¡Jose, tu post sí que es genial!

 
At Tuesday, December 27, 2005 6:18:00 AM, Anonymous Curioso impertinente said...

¿Hernán? ¿Jose? ¿Quiénes son esos?

 
At Tuesday, December 27, 2005 2:42:00 PM, Anonymous Yo también mamo pollas said...

Pedro Pablo, tu post es sin duda el más sublime

 
At Tuesday, December 27, 2005 4:57:00 PM, Anonymous Casciarense anónimo said...

Casi lloré, seguí así, Hernán!

 
At Thursday, December 29, 2005 4:41:00 AM, Anonymous lespectador said...

Sí, sí... ¿quién cojones es Hernán? ¿Os habéis fumado un canutito, amparo?

 
At Wednesday, January 04, 2006 4:59:00 AM, Anonymous Negro con pollón said...

Empezad en la prostitución... Porque nadie en su sano juicio, os dará dinero de gratis, capullos míos...
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